


small pinpricks of cold

by larryhaylik



Series: From Nagoya to Sendai [6]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Arguing, Domestic, Established Relationship, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24227836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryhaylik/pseuds/larryhaylik
Summary: Things can't be perfect all the time.(Can be read separately.)
Relationships: Yuzuru Hanyu/Shoma Uno
Series: From Nagoya to Sendai [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665580
Kudos: 25





	small pinpricks of cold

There is a fit of boisterous laughter and Yuzu blinks his eyes open. The dark ceiling is staring right back at him along with the single black spot where he hit a mosquito a few months back. For a moment, he can't figure out why he's laying on the couch in the middle of the night when the bedroom is just a few steps away and in there, huddled under the covers like always, is Sho-

Yuzuru's breath catches as he remembers. And then he sighs, turning onto his side to put his back to the light of the TV, burrowing into the darkness there as if it can protect him.

They don't fight often. Their lives have been too similar for too long and even if they didn't align completely on occasion, they could always understand each other.

That's why he was so drawn to Shoma at the start, Yuzu thinks, scratching the couch with a fingernail, the sound loud and kind of sinister at this quiet hour. He didn't have to explain himself, didn't have to convince Shoma that skating _was_ that important to him, that it _took_ that much time and mental space. He barely remembered his own birthday - how was he supposed to remember an anniversary?

Which made it all the more strange when they did fight last night - and over free time as well. It has long been established that they put their responsibilities into the calendar in the kitchen, and when it so happened that they had the same day to themselves, well - they'd spend it together because that time was precious.

Next week, Friday was supposed to be that day, and Yuzuru looked forward to it like he looked forward to the start of a new season. So when Shoma, twisting uncomfortably on the kitchen chair, said that he'd rather spend the day alone, Yuzu was surprised. Then small pinpricks of cold crawled over his chest and the "But why?" that slipped out of his lips sounded more hurt than he'd care to admit.

Yuzuru shuts his eyes at the memory.

"I just need- a little space," Shoma said, careful, his eye flicking between Yuzuru's face and the kitchen table. He had never been good at saying difficult thing out loud.

"Space?"

"This month's been packed. I need to- I don't know, to recharge? Step back for a moment?" A note of desperation crept into his voice as red rose on his cheeks.

Yuzuru understood the feeling but he couldn't comprehend why Shoma couldn't do that in his other spare time - why couldn't he do it on the day when Yuzuru was busy? Sometimes, Yuzu had so much to do he felt as if he was being squeezed from all directions, as if the forces of the world swung out of balance, but he pushed through it, took a breather and _still made it to their day off_.

It went on, with Yuzu asking exactly that and Shoma, after a few seconds of stiff silence, quietly saying, "Well, I'm not you, am I?"

And then the bedroom door clicked after him, Yuzu left standing, chest tight and blood pumping loudly in his ears, in the middle of the kitchen.

Another wave of laughter comes from the TV and Yuzu groans before turning around to switch it off. The room plunges into darkness except for the red and blue dots of the DVD player.

He knows it was a silly fight, in a way, nothing a longer, more civilised talk couldn't fix, but it was hard to get up and go solve it. He was hurt by Shoma's request despite knowing that Shoma was equally hurt by his reaction. They had so little time together, so few days when they weren't bone-deep tired or stressed about this or that. Was it wrong of him to want a breath of normal life with the person he loved?

"I love you, too," comes a voice from the door and Yuzuru freezes. He's been talking to himself again, hasn't he?

Yuzu hears Shoma step lightly across the room and then he's settling on the other end of the couch. Yuzu pulls himself up. Facing each other like this, their feet touching, Yuzuru can almost see Shoma playing with his fingers.

"I'm sorry," Shoma says and Yuzuru holds his breath. "I know those days are important to you - they're important to me, too. I just knew that I wasn't going to be at my best that day and- and I thought- I needed-"

Yuzu can't do it.

"No, I know," he interrupts, leaning forward even though they are still too far apart. "I'm sorry for snapping. And I'm sorry for implying you're not doing enough. You work so hard-"

"-right back at you-" Shoma mumbles. 

"-and I should've listened." Yuzuru wiggles. "I knew you need time to sort yourself out and I still got upset over it. I'm sorry."

"And I'm sorry I made you upset over something that's supposed to be normal for us."

There's a moment of silence, as if they both need to take a breath.

"We're good?" Yuzu finally asks.

"We're good," Shoma says before crawling over Yuzu's legs and right into Yuzu open arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Is anyone watching the Helsinki live stream tonight? If so, I'll see you there.
> 
> Stay safe, stay sane.
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.larryhaylik.tumblr.com)


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